Being a parent is hard enough, but being a parent to a child who isn’t doing well in school is even harder.
Wouldn’t it be great if we parents could get our boys and girls to do their own revision without us telling them to study?
If we constantly nag and scold our children, they may argue with us and hate us for it. At the end of the day, our relationships with our children may become strained - it’s a lose-lose situation.
Before I go any further, let me introduce myself. I’m Mala.
I’m a single mum, and I live in a one-room rental flat with my 14-year-old daughter, Anjali.
For the last 2 years, I worked as a legal secretary. I worked a second job as a house maid, earning $100 per week.
Whatever I earned, I poured back half of it into my daughter’s classes at a tuition centre.
But Anjali remained weak in her subjects. I started receiving calls from Anjali’s school teachers, who told me that her results were slipping.
At her lowest point, she only scored 20/100 for her English paper.
I was worried. I didn’t know what to do! I was so tired every day after work that I didn’t even have time to spend with Anjali.
In the end, she missed the cut-off points for Normal Academic by 8 points for her PSLE.
I was upset and lost, so I shouted at her. I scolded her, and I nagged her.
Did I say I attended the programme with my daughter? Yes, I was surprised I could sit in with my girl! Never have I seen a class where we parents could sit in with our children!
There, we both took a short test. My girl scored 100/100, while I could barely pass it. I couldn’t believe it! Just what did they teach her for her to be able to instantly score so well!
She had a good laugh at me, and you know what? I didn’t mind at all. It really showed me that we parents and our children aren’t that much different at all.
That day, I hugged her. It was something I had not done in a long time. It felt so … good and comforting.
I saw many parents being moved to tears. I think they have never been more connected to their children.
Anjali cried. She apologised for her bad behaviour, she regretted her actions and results, and she promised to work harder and not take things for granted.
I was really glad that we could finally open our hearts to each other and better understand each other.
From being a tiger mum, I switched to being a positive mum.
I started giving my girl all the support she needed - not so much academically, but with lots of LOVE.
I began encouraging her and praising her where credit is due. I started talking to her more, and we bonded over meals.
My Daughter, Transformed
I have never seen her being so transformed.
Today, she’s upbeat and self-motivated to study. She’s determined to go into a good tertiary institution at the end of her secondary school.
Her teachers were amazed at how she had managed to turn around so quickly. My relationship with Anjali has also improved tremendously.